When life stomps on your heart, sometimes you have to get up, dust yourself off, and keep moving. That's kind of how I feel 2+ months in the wake of Stephanie's death. Life stomped on me, and now it's all changed.
I've found a beautiful place to live in the mountains at the tri-state area of Tennessee, Georgia, and North Carolina. It's soothing, healing, and relaxing, but it has meant that there has been a lot of moving involved. I helped my friend move in over the past week (and she's going through what looks like it will be an ugly divorce), and now we're going to drive up to Maryland to get my things.
My son has decided to move back down to Florida with his best friend, get an apartment with him, and go back to the university he started at. He'll not be all that far from me, really, and I'll have him up whenever he wants to visit. Of course I'll go see him, too. I offered for him to come live here, but he's no longer a child. He said, "I'm a grown man now, Mom, and I can't have you paying my bills. It's okay. I have plans of my own." It brought a tear (or a dozen) to my eyes to know that he has become a real man, an adult all on his own. I worried about moving away because of him, but that statement reassured me that he will be fine ... and so will I.
I wish I could tell you more, but it's complicated for my friend. I'd hate for anything I wrote here to hurt her during her struggle to be free. Someday, though, my friends...you'll hear the whole story. The picture at the top was taken in my mother's kitchen in 1978 before I left to return to Texas. It was probably a sort of going away/sleepover of a bunch of teenage girls. I'm the one in the front right, about to laugh Coke out my nose and Denise is the one drinking the Coke and flashing a peace sign over my head. That was us then. A more recent pic is on my last post. But we haven't changed so much in 30 years. Not really.
Love to you all - Peace - D
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