Friday, May 9, 2008

Help Sought; Help Found

You may remember that last month I stopped everything and wrote a prayer here in the midst of one of my "bad days." It was more of a plea for help than anything, and it was an acknowledgement that I controlled nothing. Since then some things have changed.

What I had prayed was, "I need to ask you a favor, God. I need for you to send me just the right doctor. One with his eyes and ears fully engaged and his diagnostic skills the best.. .I just need one with a sharp mind and steady hands."

A day or so after that, I called and got an appointment with the physical therapy clinic down the road from me. I didn't have a lot of hope, but I had a lot of determination. I went in with an open mind and open ears. It took a session and a half for Ken to get my medical history (all specific to my spine). Many people in his position might have said, "Well, we'll do what we can." Or they would have blown smoke. I can always spot that. If someone tells me they can make me as good as new, I don't believe them anymore.

Since then, Ken has started giving me one or two new gentle exercises every time I see him, which is 3 times a week right now. He either does heat or ice (with or without electrical stimulation) along with gentle mobilizations. He's been honest with me. He has gone easy on me. At first I thought that there was no way he could make the pain go away with the gentle movements he was using.

But in just 2 weeks of working with him, I need less medication. I have improved mobility in my neck. I have fewer headaches. And he is even working on the shoulder that was gradually becoming frozen from tendinitis (so my doctor said). Ken said it was impingement, so he worked aggressively on that this morning.

I'm a believer.

My body isn't "all better" but it is better. I have noticed my mind and heart opening, as well. In some ways, it is scaring me. There are a lot of emotions that I haven't dealt with because I've been so busy dealing with the pain for the last few years. It's amazing what that can do to a person.

I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop, though. I had dreams last night about needing an alarm system in my house. I thought that was pretty symbolic of my body's alarm system failing to misfire all the time now. It is trying to tell me that the sky is still falling, but I'm skeptical now.

Funny how those prayers get answered. I wasn't sure God was listening to me anymore, but he sent me a care provider who has healing properties in his mind and hands. Amazing!

Peace - D


Not Afraid to Use It said...

A good massage therapist will tell you that it is not uncommon to cry with a good massage. The release of tension often brings an onslaught of emotions. I am glad you are feeling better. Rejoice in the opportunity to deal with these emotions. Think of how much healthy your mental state will be without all these emotions on the backburner.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

I never thought that I, skeptic of all skeptics, would be saying this but here goes: Believe. Believe in your health, your improvements, your relief. Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, and relish in the moment. It's hard to do, I know, after being in pain for so long. But there can be a life waiting for you without pain, too. And it sounds like the pathway there starts at your PT's doorway.

Maggie May said...

I think God ALWAYS listens. Some times we don't remember to ask in the first place. (me).
Glad he answered you & that you are in less pain! I have suffered with back problems since my forties & it is not easy! I see a chiropractor every 3 months.

Patrick said...

Im so happy for you. I have believed for a long time that medication is a tool and doesnt fix much. Especially when it comes to muscular/skeletal/neuro I think the body in motion is the greatest healing you can have. Horray for you babe !

CrazyCath said...

Glad prayers answered. I remember this prayer - keep going. Keep getting better.

Momma said...

Thanks, Cath. I am doing my best.

Peace - D