Saturday, June 7, 2008

There Once was a Girl...

She was strong, young, beautiful, and very talented. She was a gospel singer, something of a child prodigy, who started singing with her brother in church when she was quite young. Eventually, he on piano and she on primary vocals, they began touring churches in the south Georgia area. They had an amazing future ahead of them.

And then she met a boy, an athlete, at school. However it happened, whether he pressured her, raped her, or duped her into thinking that she was nothing without him, he managed to become a father. At fifteen years old, she rushed into marriage, disgraced in her community, church, and family. She had a difficult labor that produced her son, her pride and joy. Her career as a gospel singer was over. No church wanted an unclean woman (but her new husband? No worries there. He didn't bear the shame). She continued to be a fervent believer and member of her small, local church, but eventually she went to school, got her GED and then learned accounting. A bright career was snuffed out.

In late July, 1982, just after her 24th birthday, her life was snuffed out, too. She died two days before my father did. Two great losses in one week. She was, you see, my first cousin. She was found sitting on the floor of her bedroom with a shotgun in her lap. Apparently, she had propped up the gun and pulled the trigger with her toe.
  1. She was terrified of guns.
  2. She was maybe 5' tall, maybe 100 lbs. Strong but not that strong.
  3. She was a secure Christian who knew the wages of suicide.
I don't believe the suicide story for a minute. The investigation was closed at the request of the family, because "it wouldn't bring her back." No, but it would have exacted justice on the person or persons who killed her. There is such a thing as being too passive about a thing.

If you find that I am MIA a day here and there, it is because I'm writing the fictionalized novel about her life, death, and justice. I have a solid start and need to tie it all together. I loved my cousin and miss her terribly. It's been nearly 26 years, but I still think of her often. Someday I'll see her again, and I'll want her to know that I did what I could on earth to tell her story. She was a quality soul.

I am still often stunned by how beautiful she was. What a waste.

Peace - D


Akelamalu said...

What a terrible tragedy.:(

Daryl said...

How sad .. and how wonderful that you will help bring some closure to your own feelings ... maybe even find who did it .. I am sure you've got a suspect in mind ..


Jay said...

Oh, gosh, what a horrible thing! I'm so sorry! *Hugs*

JT said...

It's so tragic that things like this can happen, and still do happen. I hope your book goes out with flying colors and you can use it to make a statement.

Momma said...

Akela - It was a real loss. Who knows what she might have done with her life?

Daryl - Yes, actually two of them. The only justice is that their lives have been completely in the toilet since this happened. Good.

Jay - Thanks, Jay. It gets easier with time, but I will never forget.

JT - Thanks for popping by my blog today. I presume you got here via Jay? Cool! I always love having new readers, even if it is during a sad post like this one.

Peace - D

Sandy said...

I am so sorry. My heart aches for her children and for you.

Shrinky said...

oh sweet lady, I have goosebumps having read this. You are a strong, loving woman, a brilliant writer, and I can taste the pain from your words. This book - yes, you must finish it. Someone should clear the smear over her name - for suicide is a smear, especially if it wasn't - and if she truly was murdered, then someone needs to be held accountable. My mother committed suicide, the pain that someone CHOOSES to take their life makes the grieving that much deeper.

Momma said...

Sandy - Thanks. She only had the one child; the two in the picture are her nephews. Her son's life has turned out very badly.

Shrinky - I'm so sorry about your mother :-( I don't know if I'll ever be able to get this case to trial, but it will be in the public eye. That may be enough. And of course, the ultimate judge will have His say.

Peace - D

Maggie May said...

How awful. What a waste of life.My cousin too her life too, but not with a shot gun.

Not Afraid To Use It said...

I cannot wait to read your finished product. What an awful story. It deserves to be told.

Momma said...

Maggie - I've been getting more bits and pieces of the story. It's just awful, murder, suicide or whatever - just a waste.

NATUI - Thanks. I think so, too. Can wait to catch up when you're back in my neck of the woods!

Peace - D

Lavinia Ladyslipper said...

I think you are right, it was not suicide. It is a tragic story, I am so sorry for your cousin, who knows what might have been made of her life....she sure was beautiful. Very, very sad. I think what you are doing (writing about her) is important. I applaud you for that.