Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Other "C" Word

Why is it that whenever I have something new and serious going on in my body, I think "cancer" -- immediately? Is it because the big C wiped out most of my father's family (including him)? Is it because Cancer is this big scary word that strikes fear in the heart of any reasonable person? Or is it from watching my dad go from vague symptoms to radiation in the blink of an eye?

Whatever makes me think that way, I'm scared right now. The stomach pain that I thought was from a virus just won't go away. I eat and I end up in pain, doubled-over. I no longer have a gallbladder, so that isn't it. I'm back on my Prevacid, but yes, it could be an ulcer. It hurts so much that I don't want to eat. I have mixed up some diet shakes for the day and will be sipping on those and calling the gastroenterologist on Monday. I don't look forward to diagnostic tests - God knows I've had plenty of those in the last few years - but I know better than to wait. My genes aren't good ones. I have the big C on one side and heart disease on the other. Though I try very hard to do the right things for my health, you never have any guarantees.

I hope I don't sound like some big hypochondriac here. I'm just scared. Pain is something I'm used to. I live with it daily. But this is a new pain, and it's insistent. It won't leave me alone, and it's sapping my energy. So much for cleaning day. I'll be lucky if I get the laundry done.

Going back to bed for awhile until the knot in my stomach caused by my unreasonable bowl of cereal subsides.

Peace - D


Lavinia Ladyslipper said...

Riverpoet, please, don't jump to any conclusions. We all know the terror of worry over the big "C"...but when it comes to the abdomen, there are so many organs in there and it could be any one of hundreds of reasons, *other* than cancer. So sorry you find yourself in pain right now, and I hope lying down helps. I know you did not want to go back to the gastroenterologist, but looks like that may be a necessity now. A week from now, you may have your answer and it will *Not* be the one you dread. I know this may not help, but if you have chamomile tea, you may want to have a cup. It does a tummy good.

I'll keep you in my prayers....

tysdaddy said...

Get thee to a doctor . . .

Now! And end the worrying . . .

(Coming from me, this may not mean much. But things change . . . )


Jay said...

Oh, I'm sorry you're in so much pain. :(

Try not to worry too much before you get the results - it could be something like pancreatitis, which is quite common and extremely painful. My poor dog gets it.

There are things you can do to help clear it up and avoid it in the future, and that may be all that is needed, but it definitely needs investigating.

Good luck with the appointment and with the tests etc. Not fun, but necessary.

Daryl said...

Oh Doris .. its STRESS .. it is our worst enemy .. sometimes more debilitating then even the Big C ... in its own insidious way ..

After all you went through w/your son.. read your own last post ... you can hardly expect to be stress free .. and sometimes, in my own experience, the after effects of worry/stress cause all sorts of havoc .. in my case its usually a back spasm OR a lot of hives/welts that ITCH ...

Feel better .. and BREATHE .. and let yourself RELAX a little


Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

One of the things that my wisest friend is constantly telling me is not to borrow worry from tomorrow.

So, I in turn say that to you. Just try to relax as much as you can. As for the tests - as one who's had their fair share - these are the things that will determine how to make you feel better again. Just put on your "Git 'er Done" attitude.

Big Gentle Hugs,
The Baroness

Maggie May said...

Well the big C is wrecking our lives right now, but there are so many possibilities in the case of tummy problems. More likely to be an ulcer, especially as you have had painkillers for a long time. They are renowned for the caustic effects the digestive system.
I hate the thought of invasive tests too, but feel you should get to the bottom of the problem, if only to put your mind at rest!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Sorry to just now be getting here! Hon! You have every right to be scared! I'm terrified of that dreaded "C" word, just because I used to volunteer in the oncology ward at the local hospital. Um, yeah. Horribly depressing.

Get to the damned doctor, woman!!!!