Thursday, October 23, 2008

And to think, I just eat it...

...when really, I could be carving it into amazing shapes! Who would have ever thought of carving a loaf of bread into a menacing face with a bread knife in its teeth? Apparently someone did. Over the next few days I'm going to share some crazy photos like this in preparation for Halloween.

Speaking of the little buggers wanting handouts, I'm not doing Halloween at my house this year. It's funny, but I used to think people who shut out the lights and didn't hand out the candy were big ol' party poopers. We used to do Halloween right at my house. I would dress up along with the kids, and we'd decorate the porch, carve a Jack o'Lantern, and so on.

One year we really did it up. We decorated our front porch with a chalk outline of a body (complete with bloodstain), crime scene tape, and a big scary spider. A menacing Jack o'Lantern greeted guests, along with scary music and sounds. My daughter dressed as an evil something-or-other, complete with crayon red hair, blood stains on her lips, and patent leather gloves. Her boyfriend put on demon's wings and crawled around the porch at the end of a leash. We had tons of candy and plenty of visitors, although some of the people in the neighborhood didn't stop. I guess we were a little over the top, considering that so many of the women in the neighborhood decided to go with the tasteful Martha Stewart Halloween rather than the traditional scary stuff.

For the last two years that we've lived in this townhouse, (not in the beautiful home we lived in when that picture was taken) I've sat out front with a binful of candy and handed it out mostly to older kids and teenagers. I freeze my butt off, either keeping the dogs with me or listening to them complain inside the entryway. This year, Bodhi is a little more than I care to handle, so I've decided to turn off the porch lights, not buy the candy (which I know I would eat), and not appear to be home. Hopefully no one will trash my house.

If they do, maybe I'll sic the bread man on them ;-)

Peace - D

15 comments:

Real Live Lesbian said...

That Breadman's kinda skeery! I mean, he has a knife and EVERYTHING!

I'm thinking of turning the lights out, too. Gah, what a stick in the mud I'm turning into. At least, I'm in good company!

Moannie said...

It was when I used to visit my friend in New Jersey, that I first had the Halloween experience. And thought it fun, apart from the eggs on the roof of the house and the car and the yards of loo paper in the trees that was a b....r to get off. Now it is getting to be a bigger thing here, and, pooh if it makes me seem a saddo, but it is becoming a pain. Lights will be off and dog muzzled.
Good pictures, it might make an interesting challenge.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Fabulous carvings. Love the thought of a marked out body on your porch. Might try that myself!

CJ xx

Sarah said...

Man, I love Martha Stewart but she's killed Halloween! It's all about the scary stuff!!!

Daryl said...

We live in a small brownstone with 8 apartments and none of the tenants have kids so I dont buy cnady .. in NYC kids trick or treat w/an adult and usually in their own apartment bldgs .. thats after they visit the stores along Broadway where treats are given to the small fry!

:-Daryl

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Those bread sculptures kind of creep me out. LOL I don't blame you for shutting your lights off this year. Trying to get the logistics worked out is a bit of a headache down here.

Akelamalu said...

I've never seen bread sculptures before - how amazing!

Halloween celebrations are a relatively new thing over here. I know I'm a miserable old sod but I pretend not to be in either because the kids here don't even bother dressing up they just put a mask on and expect you to cough up!

Drowsey Monkey said...

That breadman is cool! Wow, that takes artistic talent. But yeah, I'd rather just eat it ;)

I haven't always done the halloween thing, it depended on what was going on, never got trashed by kids so that was good! Now I'm in an apartment so they just do it in the lobby ... which I avoid ;)

SandyCarlson said...

That smiley bread with the knife makes me think someone got fed up with those images in text--or at WalMart!

the walking man said...

Did the breadman carve himself?

RiverPoet said...

RLL - Indeed! Sounds like I am definitely not the only one.

Moannie - If it was all little kids in cute costumes, it might not be so bad. But the teenagers really are taking advantage, I think. Or maybe I'm just grumpy these days ;-)

CJ - The chalk outline was a big hit. If I were still into all of that, I might really go all CSI on it!

Sarah - Amen to that! Why do Halloween if it isn't scary? I think I'll pop in a copy of Halloween (the original) and get scared myself!

Daryl - Nice! I wish they had a central area for candy here, but kids still walk the whole neighborhood.

NATUI - It's fun when you have little ones, though. I wish I could see your kids in their costumes!!!

Akela - That's true. They often just show up looking like hoodlums who want to extort candy ;-)

Drowsey - I hope I don't get trashed. The kids didn't trash the other units in the building who didn't participate last year, but prior to Halloween my next door neighbor's decorations (a scarecrow and pumpkins) were all stolen and destroyed. Terrible!

Sandy - There's a lot about Wal-Mart that makes me crazy, but not enough to have the talent to carve like that :-) Wish I had such talent!

WM - Ooh, good question. Maybe if the hand was carved first? ;-)

Peace - D

Sandy said...

We used to have lots of little kids when I first moved to this neighborhood. Every year I would see them, and as they grew up they all moved away. Now I buy candy and send it to the hub's work because the kids that are here now all go to parties instead of going door to door. I suppose after being here almost 40 years that it was bound to happen. Still I always buy candy in the hopes that the little ones will come once again.

Hilary said...

I live in a townhouse on a dead-end street where I know ALL of the kidlets. I couldn't turn my lights off even if I wanted to. The pumpkin carving and lighting is a must around here. Now that my kids are grown (and disinterested) that task is all mine and I'm never keen to do it.. so that light switch IS a temptation...

Lavinia said...

You want scary? I"ll give you scary. The first photo? That's me first thing in the morning!! I look just like that!!

RiverPoet said...

Eeek! With the knife and everything?? ;-)

Peace - D