Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Honesty


If honesty is the best policy but discretion is the better part of valor, then between the two lies the grayest of gray areas, a place in which honesty isn't quite honest and discretion isn't entirely discreet.

In that demilitarized zone, you can find all the little white lies in the world, the gloss that is slopped over unspeakable situations, the smile that is pasted on at the start of a new day, and the word, "Fine" - as in "Oh, things are fine."

Those who are on one side of the void or the other think they see it all very clearly. They shove some more popcorn into their mouths, delighting at the spectacle, and say, "No, go this way!" or "Can't you see what to do, you idiot?" In reality, they have no more clue as to the right move than do the players in the void, and in the end, there is still blood spilled and it isn't their own.

That void is the site of many battles - wins and losses - that continue unceasingly. The players each have a dire problem. Maybe they've been ignoring it for a good long time, dancing around the edges of the field, hoping to avoid clashes and penalties, broken teeth and shredded knuckles. Maybe they have turned their back to the void for so long that they truly believe themselves to be standing in the green grass of Honesty or in the stand of weeping willows that shade the meadow of Discretion. And yet they are as exposed as a newborn abandoned on a doorstep. The jokers in the stands watch, waiting for the player to get up, to fight, to overcome. The player looks to them for help, eyes pleading and misted with tears.

Ultimately, the player must turn to the center of the void and fight. Honesty and Discretion be damned! Maybe tears will fall, maybe drops of blood. Perhaps the battle will rage on for too long, sapping the strength of all involved, but in the end, the players will -- they must! -- move on out of the void, with any luck. They will move into Honesty and face the path of Truth, else they will hide beneath the long tendrils of the willows in the meadow of Discretion, forever trying to hide their wounds and scars, trying to cover up once more the reason behind the battles.

Co-dependency is the quicksand that dots the ground inside the demilitarized zone. It is the deadly dance that robs one of oneself and fools one into blindness. And all this player is trying to do is to extract her foot from one of the deepest pits she's encountered so far.

Make no mistake. It is a battle. Honesty is a place I've not lived in for any length of time, and I keep falling back into the DMZ, slipping farther away from the To-Thine-Own-Self-Be-True Cove. The land of Discretion is much more familiar. Discretion is better known as Keep-Your-Mouth-Shut. I've been there off and on my whole life. People like it when you stay in Discretion, though it is a very crowded and secretive place. Lots of people go there. Honesty is not as populous, because it costs much more to live there. But oh, I hear that it the land of milk and honey, closer to God than Discretion. I'm saving my pennies in the DMZ and fighting hard to get out of the quicksand. I can't wait to have a big house on the corner in the land of Honesty. Can you?

Peace - D

[photo credit]

19 comments:

Sandi McBride said...

Great post...striving, be it for honesty in life or simply to get thru life unscathed, is a talent, some excel at it...others at least make an attempt.
Sandi

Cloudia said...

Extraordinary honesty & writing from a seasoned soul. It was a privlige to visit today. SO well done. Humble aloha to YOU!

Maggie May said...

Honesty is the best policy, so I have been taught from an early age. Not easy sometimes though. Striving for it is what most of us do.
Was quite a poignant post. Thank you for writing it.

the walking man said...

I have never found my foot in the garden of discretion which often times had let the mower in the gray areas of attitude run over me. *shrug* It is better to be cut and sleep at night than it is to grow weedy.

SOUL: said...

nice. good timing for me to see this too. funny how that works sometimes isn't it?

hope you have a happy day

Daryl said...

Pretty new template!

Well written affecting post ... hope you find what you seek. xox

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

btw love all the pink, but on my screen this particular design wont load properly and takes ages...might be my pc..but a heads up to you...


FFF x

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

l left another comment and its gone!!!

This post has cut right through me to the raw emotion l have hidden back.....just came up and bit me big time reading this..so evocative and so powerful your words, I feel and understand every word....wow

wish l could help you in this, whatever you are dealing with right now....
you are strong, brave and can see the path ahead...deep breath girl...

l'm here if you need to....


FFF x

Akelamalu said...

It's not always easy but being honest at least with oneself is a good thing. Great post today.

Dianne said...

have you been reading my mind? If so could you do a report for me on what you read :)

this is beautiful and touching and truly speaks to where I feel I'm standing right now

thank you :)

Ghost Dansing said...

i used to wonder how i could possibly deceive myself..... now i wonder how i will possibly avoid self-deception....

honesty indeed..... sort of starts with clearly knowing what i'm up to even if the insight isn't particularly pretty....

Lorna said...

Hey D.... Your post inspired me to do some thinking about lying. It is here:

http://lornacheyenne.blogspot.com


-Lorna

Real Live Lesbian said...

Excellent post! I try to live in honesty, but it's a tough place to be.

Deb said...

Well. You have certainly given me lots to think about and reflect on here. I have lived in both lands and both have had their share of ups and downs. Sending warm thoughts your way. Take care.

Moannie said...

I am not tryng to brag when I say that I live in the land of honesty, it is not always a comfortable place to be, it is thorny and rough underfoot and close to the border of the DMZ so near enough to feel the stones thrown by those who would rather not hear it. I tell the truth because I am obliged to, not for reasons of Heaven or Hell but because, as a liar I am a sweaty trembling fool.

Such a wonderful post... huge hugs.

Jules~ said...

Good morning River Poet. Thank you for the inforation you left me a couple of days ago. I had never heard of that before adn have started reading around to learn more. I am sorry you struggle with that pain.

Your post is really thought provoking. Honesty and discretion is such a slippery slope indeed. It is so hard to keep an identity on where the fine line is.
I don't know if my strategy is correct or shy but I find that over the years I have learned to use discretion and be quiet...unless I am asked. If I am asked then I am as carefully honest as possible.

Blessings to you and your day.

SandyCarlson said...

Great piece, my friend. Wow. Honesty often runs a distant second to discrete silence in my little world. I find my friends prefer it that way...

I hope you are doing well.

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