Sunday, February 15, 2009

I'm OK, You're OK

I've had to cut back on some things because school is demanding, but it's okay. I'm alright. I just won't be able to visit you all as much as I'd like.

I've noticed something, though, that I just had to share.

It's getting easier to accept myself and my age. I'm beginning to understand those sayings "Life begins at 40!" or "Life begins at 50!" - well, you get the idea. I'm okay.

Yesterday I had my hair cut, and the old color and low-lights are gone. I am completely natural now. I said to the stylist, "I look like I paid a lot of money for frosting!" The silver threads are pervasive throughout my light brown hair, and my new slightly-angled page boy cut really shows it off (new pictures soon).

I also recently stepped on the scale and didn't freak out. Yes, I'm a little heavier than I was a year ago, but my weight is stable. I like the weight I'm at. I like what I see in the mirror. After spending most of my life hating my body, dieting, starving myself, freaking out if I gained a pound only to get angry and eat everything in sight. Enough is enough! I'm calling a truce.

Today I wear the same size I wore when I got married 26 years ago (on Thursday). I wear the same size I wore when I had my kids. Could I be thinner? Well, yes. And I proved that by dropping down to a size 10. But I didn't like how I looked. I was gaunt and hollow looking. I didn't look healthy, not to me. I didn't look like me.

Certainly I don't want to gain any weight, because I had some health issues at a higher weight. I also plan to continue walking for health, but I am not going to actively pursue weight loss. My blood pressure is great. My cholesterol is great. My blood sugar is great. Why fight with my body over a number which, in the end, means nothing in the great scheme of things. After I'm gone, will people say, "Oh, she worked hard to always be in a size ___ (whatever)"? No, I hope they'll have something more substantial to say than that.

I am aging the way my mother and my grandmothers and my great-grandmothers did ... and so on. No injections in my face. No dermabrasion. No hair color (okay, Mom colored her hair, but she always gave in to silly pressure to do things like go on fad diets, too). What you see is what you get. And I'm OK with that.

Whatever you want to do, whether it includes a little nip/tuck or Botox, that's okay, too. I don't care what other people choose to do. I'm just happy that I finally feel good about me. It's about time!

Now, when I wake up tomorrow freaking out about a lump, bump, or bulge, I'll re-read this post!

Peace and goodnight - D
[photo credit]


SandyCarlson said...

I suspect this very attitude is what keeps Sophia Loren beautiful year after year! Good on ya!

Syd said...

Good for you. I see too many women who look freaky with their skin tight across their face. I guess they went under the knife too many times.

Niki said...

Good for you! Going natural as you get older is the best way to go. No one wants to remember someone who tries to fight aging all the time and anyways natural IS beautiful.

Maggie May said...

You seem to be doing very well and are obviously happy in your skin. What more can you ask?

You are lucky to be the same size as when you married! Wish I could say the same!
Looking forward to the new pictures!

the walking man said...

*shrug* Never made any sense to me to try to stop you said I doubt they'll say anything like "Oh, she worked hard to always be in a size ___ (whatever)"

How about "She had a life and she lived it."

Daryl said...

YES! Its a good thing to like yourself just the way you are ... glad you are 'there' .. and I hope school is going well ..

Woman in a Window said...

huh, i have thoughts along these lines percolating right now. i was a little beside myself last night because I didn't have the time to get them out. in a way, you've done it for me. i'm glad "we're" good with who we are, it's not always easy, but hey, it's not always bad.

(and i'm thinking, do i know you? i should know you. have i been here before? deja vu.)

Sandy said...

I'm with you 100%!

Sandi McBride said...

It's so lovely to be happy in your own body. I want to jump up and down and yell "Me Too!", retain, come back!

Moannie said...

Apart from hair styles and colours I have let the rest of me do what it will. Unlike 2nd daughter who cleanses moisurises religeously I seldom remember and when I do it is just to get rid of that dry feeling. I did do false lashes when they were 'in' and tried yoga a couple of times but I guess I'm just lazy and a bit bloody minded. 'Take me as I am' was my mantra while secretly wishing I was slimmer, had longer legs and thicker hair.

I think you get comfortable in your skin as you reach 'a certain age' the wrinkles have been earned and honestly, show me a botoxed woman and I'll show you an unhappy insecure one.

the mother of this lot said...

Sounds like Girl Power to me! Good for you!

septembermom said...

Turning 40 shook me up this year. I want to feel good about where I am at now. I wish the grey in my hair didn't bother me too much. Maybe I'll try and take some of your advice and enjoy the ride into my 40s!

Fashionista Yorkie Mom said...

I really enjoyed your post. As a 43 year old woman myself, I can really appreciate the sentiments. I wish more people would accept themselves rather than constantly tweaking what God gave them, as if they could improve on it! Stop by and see me at

RiverPoet said...

SandyC - Oh for those cheekbones! But yes, I know what you mean.

Syd - That will NEVER be me. Ick!

Niki - Yes it is! Remember that as you grow into maturity, too.

Maggie - Maybe I'll even put on the old wedding dress! (It's not one of those big formal numbers...)

Mark - Yes, my friend. I believe they'll be able to say that!

Daryl - School is going well, and I'm taking it much more seriously than I even did with my undergrad. I'm loving it!

WINAW - Yep, you've been here before. We found each others' blogs through David @ authorblog.

Sandy - Woo hoo!

Sandi - Retain! That's the key, isn't it?

Moannie - I was raised by women (my mom and sister) who were never happy with themselves. This represents a huge step for me, and it feels like it. I was nearly jumping for joy the day I had this epiphany! I'm glad that you've always been this way. It's a great way to live.

MOTL - Girl power! Yeah! But I'm not burning my bras!

September - Some days it is difficult; I won't lie to you. I see other women noticing my hair, and I wonder what they're thinking. But I committed to going natural after I had a bad bout with a chemical allergy that may have been due to dying my hair at home. Maybe I'll start a trend!

Peace - D

RiverPoet said...

YorkieMom - Thanks for stopping by and for the support! I hope you'll be one of those 40-somethings (like me) who carries the banner for being natural.

Peace - D

david mcmahon said...

Everyone fights the battle of the bulge at some time or the other. Keep smiling as always.

SMS said...

Sounds great. Confidence on the inside is indispensible.

SOUL: said...

good for you !! for most women it takes a lifetime to get to this point of acceptance with ourselves.
kudos to you!!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

LOL I am blogging while waiting for the timer to go off on the hair color I just applied. How apropos. I am glad to see you are doing well. And I am glad you are feeling so satisfied these days.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

It's such a good feeling to be at peace with oneself. It's the inside that really counts.

CJ xx

Deb said...

Hi ~ I am so happy for you! What a feel good post. Life is too short to spend it wishing we were something else - accepting ourselves for who we are, loving ourselves from the inside out - that is key! Celebrate!

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

Its good to feel great!!! lovely post...don;t keep too busy!!

Merisi said...

Welcome to the age fo the Real You!
Love that post, thanks to David of Authorblog who sent me here. Congratulations on the POD Award! :-)

Shrinky said...

There is a certain freedom that comes with getting older, isn't there? When you are comfortable in your own skin, the world is a far warmer place. Congrats on Post of the Day!

RiverPoet said...

David - Thanks so much for bestowing Post of the Day on me!

SMS - Yes, and I'm SO enjoying the new-found confidence. I hope it shows!

SOUL - You'll find it, too. Hang in there.

NATUI - No worries! I colored my hair for YEARS. I started going gray in my 20s.

CJ - Yes, it's an amazing feeling, truly.

Deb - And I hope this feel good post made you feel a little better!

FFF - I just don't know any other way. Maybe if I keep busy, I won't get old ;-)

Merisi - Good to see you here. David really is a sweetheart to recognize me like that!

Shrinky - It really does feel like freedom.

Peace - D

Sandi McBride said...

Congrats on Post of the Day!

SOUL: said...

this is me-- hangin.. oooowwwwww.
happy tuesday-

Meredith Teagarden(The Things we Carried) said...

Good for you. Isn't this the eternal battle of women? How peaceful it must be to conquer it at last. In my forties I find I am getting closer....

Congrats on Davids POtD!

Peter Edwards said...

hey i saw your page marked on 'authorblog'. You won blog of the day there apparently. I'm just stretching my horizon's here, and i know adds like this probably get posted alot, but i think you might enjoy my first blog. Check it out, if you've the time.

Over and out :-D

sallymandy said...

Thank you. I'm 46 looking for inspiration as I get older, and love to read attitudes from women a little farther along the path...even a tiny bit farther. I'm looking forward to the day when I can like what I see in the mirror. I know it's all about attitude.

QuietCypher said...

What's most important is how you feel internally.

Hilary said...

Good for you! You're quite lovely inside and out.

Cloudia said...

Yay! Me Too. Aloha-

RiverPoet said...

Sandi - Thank you!

Soul - You go, girl!

Meredith - Thank you, and yes, there is something very powerful about feeling OKAY with what's in the mirror.

Peter - Thanks for stopping by, and I've added you to my roster. I'll be watching!

Sally - Thanks for dropping by, and I'm so happy to be even a little bit of an inspiration to you and other women. We are just fiiiiiine!

Cypher - I really need all the good internal feelings I can get right now. I'm too busy to sit around and mope :-)

Hilary - AWW! Thanks! We all are, aren't we?

Cloudia - And how could you NOT be pleased with that lovely face?

Peace - D

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