Sunday, April 12, 2009

Digging Out


I want to thank all of you for your love and support, and especially M. over at Not Afraid to Use It who came to my daughter's funeral on Thursday. It would take me forever to respond to each and every comment I've received in the last week, and it might not be the best use of my time right now given that I have to start digging out of this fog. Pete and I will be off for the week again, so I am going to be trying to re-enter the land of the living, take care of paperwork (you'd be amazed at the amount of paperwork I have waiting for me), and file an extension for our taxes. I also need to do some exercising, even if it's just a bike ride or longer walks, to try to work the kinks and stress out of my muscles.

Am I over my daughter's death? Of course not. But I realize she is at peace now and that gives me great comfort. There is a whole lot of writing to be done as I deconstruct the last 25 years and try to understand what meaning my daughter's life and death had, and you'll get to read some of that.

Task 1: We cleaned out her car.
Task 2: I began writing thank you notes.
Task 3: I attended Easter services at church.
Task 4: We walked the dogs until they were exhausted.

As I begin to pick up the pieces here, I'd love to know if there are any of your posts you really wanted me to see? Maybe it's something you wrote about all of this or maybe it was just a particularly profound post. But I have so many posts backed up on my Google Reader that I'm just going to clear the slate and start fresh. There's not time for me to read them all. I'm sure you understand.

Back to the recovery process. Talk to you soon - Peace - D

33 comments:

HOPELESSBELIEVER said...

My dear friend, please forgive me, I just learned of your daughter's death today, as I was not on blogger at all this past week.
I cannot imagine the pain you and your family is suffering, my thoughts and prayers are all yours now.

Dear God, please strengthen, protect, and guide this family through this terrible time. They need all your strength Lord, all of your guidance, your mercy, your grace, I pray Lord for this family, my friend, that you would comfort them and keep them close in this time of mourning.
All glory and praise to you Lord, in Christ Jesus name I pray, Amen

your friend,
Julian

Woman in a Window said...

You - time and peace.

Syd said...

Take your time with it all. Take care of yourself. One Day at a Time.

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and sending you love..

I posted this for you...

http://fatfrumpyandfifty.blogspot.com/2009/04/for-doris.html

Ms Hen said...

hugs

Ruth D~ said...

One foot in front of the other, and hold the hands of others. There is so much what if?, and so much why? left, isn't there.

Thanks things slowly . . .

Mental P Mama said...

I feel like you are making amazing progress. Going to a Compline service now, and I will hold you all in my thoughts and prayers the entire time.

SOUL: said...

missing a few blog posts should really be the furthest thing from your mind right now. you will have plenty of time to catch up. the things you have going on at home are much more important and i'm sure everyone understands.

it breaks my heart to think of what you all are going through.

we'll be here when you get to runnin around and reading again. until then just take care of you-- and let us know how you are . ok?

thinking of you every day.
big hugs

much2ponder said...

I happened upon your blog accidentally, but stayed and read a while. I have no words that could even begin to bridge the gap between the world that once was and the one you now face. My heart is hurting for your loss and I am praying for you that you will somehow find a way to find comfort. This is truly heart breaking. Just know you have a friend that you don't know who is praying for the Lord to somehow make some kind of sense of it all.

Hilary said...

Sound like you're every bit the strong woman I believe you to be. I wish you continued strength and peace.

Leslie: said...

Peace be with you, dear Doris. One step at a time, as Ruth says, and let your tears flow. Hugs.

the walking man said...

Be Well is all.

ed said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Moannie said...

Don't worry about us Doris, we will all be here when you return.

San said...

Continuing to send you love...

Daryl said...

One breath at a time ... keeping you all in my thoughts and sending love

Cath said...

Still sending you love Doris. And for Stephanie's father. You both must need each other and your memories so much right now.
There is nothing special I want you to see but when you are ready to come over, do. I have found out that because my blog is private now it does not update in google reader. So it looks like I haven't posted since March. I have. When you're ready, I'll see you there.

Take care of yourself. And take time. All the time you need.
Much love. And ((((hugs))))

Employee No. 3699 said...

Stay strong and take care of you right now. I hope you know that I'm thinking of you.

((Hugs))

Linda~

septembermom said...

sending my hugs to you

The Things We Carried said...

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Sending prayers for you.

ConverseMomma said...

Take care of you, the rest will all be here.

Love and peace

TSannie said...

You are a remarkable woman, Doris. I admire your strength, and I cannot imagine being as strong as you are in the face of what you're going through.
Wish there was more I could do...

Ask Aunt B said...

You are still in my prayers. There is a reason, you must look for it. There in lies the answer. God is good and He will not forsake you, even though I know it has passed through your mind. No, Jesus weeps for your loss and He extends His hand to walk you through all of this.

Hugz & Hope

Maggie May said...

Have been thinking of you all the time I have been away and of course you will not get over your daughter's death. You will perhaps, learn to live with it eventually.
Just to let you know I am thinking of you still and sending prayers for you.
I think you are doing very well. Hugs and XXXX

Not Afraid to Use It said...

It was my honor to come. We think about you guys every day.

Jay said...

Grief has it's own timetable and can't be rushed. You'll take your time, and eventually find that the words will come once more. Meanwhile, please don't worry about us. We'll still be here when you're ready to start looking for us again.

*Hugs*

Bon Dobbs said...

Wow, you must be in such pain over your daughter's death. It is so sad and tragic. My heart goes out to you.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

You have had enough on your plate and I would imagine reading through blogs has been seldom on your mind, but your caring nature continues to shine through.

Of course you will never get over it, but I suspect with time, you will learn to live with it.

Bless You,
CJ xx

Nonnie said...

You are in my thoughts & prayers..hugs

Jo said...

Doris, you will never be the same after losing your beautiful daughter, but I hope you give yourself some time to heal and find peace. You were (are!) the best Mom -- don't ever forget that.

Josie

Sarcastic Bastard said...

You and your lovely daughter are in my thoughts. God bless you.

Jules~ said...

Dearest Doris, I am only just getting back into blogging and have just read about your daughter. How can my words ever put a dent into what you are feeling right now. I am so so sorry. My husband's youngest boy died just a few years ago at age 15. I only say that in hopes that you know you are not alone. I pray God's continual peace over you and your family during this season.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

I've been behind in reading blogs just because I've been lazy. Don't you worry about it. I haven't written anything worthwhile lately, so don't feel obligated to read any of my drivel. :) Write when you can. Read when you can.

Peace will come. Promise.