Sunday, April 5, 2009

I'll see her tomorrow

Meanwhile, I managed to post something in my other blog. Feel free to read it.

I'm exhausted today and very sick.

Thank God for my church family and all of you. Otherwise, I would feel even more lost than I do now.

Dear God, help us to get through one more hour, one more minute.

D

27 comments:

Maggie May said...

Yes, and he WILL help you to get through one more minute, one more hour and before you know it, one more day. He has promised you will never be on your own, even though you feel that you are right now.
I will go over to the other blog.

((hugs)) X

TSannie said...

My heart is breaking for you. I can't even imagine what you're going through. I'm sending many hugs, thoughts and prayers your way.

Mental P Mama said...

Said a special prayer for you all in church this morning...

Mike Golch said...

when ever I really need it God helps me cope with the things in my life.God Bless and keep you in his heart.

the walking man said...

Breath and Strength

Grumpy Old Ken said...

You don't know me, just another old British blogger. No words will help yet but thinking of you.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Always thinking of you...

Syd said...

Praying that God will hold Stephanie in His hand. I'm sure that he is holding her close.

louisey said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers -- my brother was killed in a war situation many years ago and the shock of that is still with me.

Take care and a cyberhug to you

Mary LA

Steve E. said...

I cannot even imagine that pain and hearbreak you are feeling. Having to go through (you will never 'get through') this horrific time is someth
ing I could not bear alone.

Our prayers in Naples FL are for you, your daughter, at peace, who suffers no more, and all your family members.
Love,
Steve E.

Moannie said...

I'm here every day sending love.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

I am sat here in shock. I haven't been visiting blogs for a few days and feel a little out of touch.

She will feel your love.

Bless your hearts.

CJ xx

Akelamalu said...

You will get through, however hard it is. God never gives you more to bear than is possible, even though you may think it is. I'll be thinking of you all. x

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

It must be an incredibly hard thing to live through moment to moment as profound grief is not pleasant, and works to its own timetable. In which we pretty much have no control over.
Thank you for posting pictures of your daughter. She reminds me of women I knew when I was drinking, and women I see in recovery. When I was drinking I was very careless about whether I lived or died. The only reason I am still alive is pure luck. No skill or virtue on my part. Most women that I meet with a drink problem have a very weak perception of how vulnerable they are when they are drinking. They place themselves in dangerous situations all the time. I feel a great sense of accomplishment with Sponsees if they develop the ability to appreciate the fragility of their existence, and how incredibly dangerous the situation is they put themselves in were. It can take nearly 2 years for that reality to sink in even a little.

I can only speak for myself. And that's that gaining a sense of reality of non-duality has dramatically changed the way I think about other people, alive or otherwise. non-duality is an inadequate word for a deeply ego puncturing, but very satisfactory world view. All it means is that there can be no separation in any time or any space. That we are all hopelessly stuck together. Conjoined in ways that we cannot see using our eyes. It means that any perception of separation is delusional and unreal. I suppose what I mean is that the connection with your daughter is still there, and doubtless will always be there. Admittedly that does not change the tragedy of the circumstance, but it allows you to find a way of maintaining awareness of your daughter that may create a sense of nearness, which may be useful while you go through the inevitable grieving process.

When I don't like what my head is telling me, I listened to recordings of echart tolle, or ajhan amaro.

ajhan amaro.

http://www.abhayagiri.org/index.php/main/media_more/C14

Eckhart tolle tv

http://www.eckharttolle.com/eckharttolle-ettv and

u2 therapy!

u2 Kite

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwMdO3HK_ws

U2 - Stuck in a moment

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykIj190mJek

Deva Premal and Miten - Gayatri Mantra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d63COahIpVM

Hurts you More, Bothers You Less

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TUr949kmZk

U2 Sometimes you can't make it on your own Live form Mlian

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BK_RGNs8s6w

U2 - Dirty Day - ZooTv Sydney

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIsFPZit-_M

U2 Elevation Live At Slane Castle. (Recorded a matter of days after bonos dad died)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lCXB_68VfQ

U2 Bad Live

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbhYwseHcyQ

Stuff

City of Angels (Trailer)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zSG_oVliis

100,000 Angels

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GW-YMf0Kmww

I know the world looks very random sometimes, but I have come to believe that it is far from random. We all have our paths to take. "Everything is teaching us" as Ajhan Chah used to say. Let's go a little, you will have a little peace of mind. Let's go a lot, you will have a lot of peace of mind. Let go totally, you will have total peace of mind. Was another of his sayings.
Good luck with your journey.

Daryl said...

You are strong. You will get through this one day at a time, one step at a time. You have support here and at home and at church ... xo

Hilary said...

Sending best thoughts and wishing you strength to get through this heartbreak.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Stephanie's passing has most definitely left a hole inside you, m'dear, a hole that will never again be filled. But someday. Someday. The edges of that hole will become less ragged. And you will learn how to move on and function again.

I love you.

Patty said...

I heard of your daughters death from Syd's blog.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Sending out prayers to you and your entire family.

ConverseMomma said...

Hold on, sweetheart. Hold on!

TraceyBaby said...

Just hold on.......

She is at peace and wants you to be too.

xoxo ~T~

the walking man said...

Hold tight to one another.

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Ruth D~ said...

Still thinking of you . . . feeling the pain with you . . .

Moonspun said...

Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you...

SandyCarlson said...

You are in my heart. I have been thinking of you.

Mr. Nighttime said...

I haven't been visiting very many blogs of late, so I just read about your loss. I am so very sorry. I hope they catch whoever perpetrated this horror.

There is an old Yiddish proverb, "May you know no more sorrow."

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

What Dreams May Come ( Original Trailer )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pHCtLzmras

If you can stand it, this film is a good one. very positive. i think.