Thursday, June 11, 2009

Sometime a Fresh Start is in Order


When life stomps on your heart, sometimes you have to get up, dust yourself off, and keep moving. That's kind of how I feel 2+ months in the wake of Stephanie's death. Life stomped on me, and now it's all changed.

I've found a beautiful place to live in the mountains at the tri-state area of Tennessee, Georgia, and North Carolina. It's soothing, healing, and relaxing, but it has meant that there has been a lot of moving involved. I helped my friend move in over the past week (and she's going through what looks like it will be an ugly divorce), and now we're going to drive up to Maryland to get my things.

My son has decided to move back down to Florida with his best friend, get an apartment with him, and go back to the university he started at. He'll not be all that far from me, really, and I'll have him up whenever he wants to visit. Of course I'll go see him, too. I offered for him to come live here, but he's no longer a child. He said, "I'm a grown man now, Mom, and I can't have you paying my bills. It's okay. I have plans of my own." It brought a tear (or a dozen) to my eyes to know that he has become a real man, an adult all on his own. I worried about moving away because of him, but that statement reassured me that he will be fine ... and so will I.

I wish I could tell you more, but it's complicated for my friend. I'd hate for anything I wrote here to hurt her during her struggle to be free. Someday, though, my friends...you'll hear the whole story. The picture at the top was taken in my mother's kitchen in 1978 before I left to return to Texas. It was probably a sort of going away/sleepover of a bunch of teenage girls. I'm the one in the front right, about to laugh Coke out my nose and Denise is the one drinking the Coke and flashing a peace sign over my head. That was us then. A more recent pic is on my last post. But we haven't changed so much in 30 years. Not really.

Love to you all - Peace - D

21 comments:

Maggie May said...

It takes a lot of nerve to do something as drastic as you have done and I wish you every happiness.

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

I have more questions than I know what to do with, but its none of my business. I just hope you are moving on something that has been with you a while, longer I suspect. And not making choices too early..

thinking of you often, and hope whatever moves you doesn't remove you from here. Unless that is for your best.
FFF xx

the walking man said...

Everyone has the right to move about as they must to find that thing they seek. My only hope is that it is done as kindly as possible when you move away from them who have loved you.

Be Well Kiddo

J said...

I wish you the very best of luck with your move. And I really admire for looking the future in the face after the death of your daughter.

RiverPoet said...

Maggie - This is a good move for me. It's positive and healthy. :-)

FFF - You can always write me and ask away. I am careful on here because of my friend.

Mark - I am being as kind as I can possibly be, and though it's sad in a way to make a transition, it's good for him, too.

J - Thank you so much. I feel this is very positive move for me.

Peace - D

Ms Hen said...

You sound solid and stable.........not on a wild goose chase.

I'm wishing you the very very very best.

Serenity and peace.

Betty Ann NYC

Employee No. 3699 said...

I wish you the best. Keep us posted...and I'd love to see some pictures of the area you're in. As I said before, I would move to that area in a heartbeat if I could.

((Hugs))

thecheekofgod said...

I wish nothing but the best for you, my friend. As another commenter said, nothing about your recent decisions seems rash or childish. You seem to be following your dreams, and I applaud that . . .

Daryl said...

Sounds like life has come full circle ... wishing you both the best ... and I hope you keep blogging, I would miss you if you stopped

ConverseMomma said...

I hope you have found your free. And, I hope...that every single corner of that new place is overflowing with love.

Mental P Mama said...

I get a whole grounded sense of purpose from you in this. I wish you and your friend wel.. And the best of luck. I grew up in middle Tennessee--it is a glorious place, and I miss it terribly. Blessings.

Jay said...

I hope the move, and your friend's separation, go smoothly. I wish you both peace and happiness!

You look amazingly like Stephanie in that photo. *Hugs*

San said...

Blessings and peace, my friend.

Fresh starts are inspiring and often come with many gifts.

SandyCarlson said...

I am glad life is changing for you for the better, and I hope your new home is peaceful and good for you. I wish your son the best and admire his integrity.

Moannie said...

I wish you love, I wish you happiness, and most of all I wish you peace.

Huge hugs.

Akelamalu said...

I hope everything works out for you and your friend m'dear - be happy. x

Syd said...

Ahh...those innocent days when Coke was something to drink. I know that I have changed in 30 years and now it is for the better. Thank goodness for that.

HEATHER said...

Good luck and God Bless!

TSannie said...

The very best of life to you, Doris. I know it won't always be easy, but I bet this journey you're on will be well worth it as the years go by.
Blessings to you, my friend.

Thumbelina said...

In your own time Doris... in your own time.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

May you find some of the peace and happiness you deserve there, Doris. In good time, with good friends, and with love surrounding you...

Take care, love and light x