Wednesday, August 25, 2010

School!

I'm so excited that school started last night! Am I a geek or what?

Instead of being back in the Thanatology program at Hood College right now, I'm getting my Masters degree in something that makes more sense in a lucrative way: master of science in technical communications management. I'm going through the program (which will take about two years) online through Mercer University in Macon, GA. Last night was my first live seminar for the International Communication course. It was quite interesting, and we discussed many topics relevant to my current career. It took me awhile to find, settle on, and apply to this school, because I kept wanting to go toward the counseling route. But with all that I had going on in my life and with losing Stephanie, something in my soul wasn't ready for all of that. Pursuing higher education for what I do now made good sense and will probably pay for itself. A counseling degree would mean a large cut in pay, which did not make sense, particularly with all factors considered.

What I may do eventually is go back and finish the degree at Hood after I finish this one. I am still very interested in going the whole route with Thanatology and perhaps writing more in that field, segueing out of engineering at some point as I get older. Maybe. Or maybe I'll just complete the degree so that I can do freelance writing in that field and never change careers. Who knows? The world is open again.

Though I'm still in "detox" from this relationship, though I still have profound insomnia and some flare-ups of anger that are not like me at all, I can see now that I will come out okay on the other side. The things that happened. The things that were said. I can't change any of it. I didn't create it; I can't control it; and I can't cure it. All I can do is work on me and getting me healthy again. Already my physical health feels better. Already I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I noticed tonight that I'm going longer between having to plug in my cell phone, because I no longer have to communicate clandestinely with my friends and family through hastily composed text messages. Now they can call or talk to me face-to-face without causing me problems. It's just one little reminder of how much my life has changed.

Now I can breathe and live my life again. I know that whatever I do from here on out will be of my doing and my decisions. I plan to get back into recovery, too, for co-dependency so that I don't repeat the same mistake. I have a long way to go, one step and one day at a time.

Peace - D

4 comments:

Maggie May said...

You have found a great way out with the higher education! It seems to be the perfect answer.
Well done!
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Syd said...

It all sounds good. Glad that you are pursuing your graduate degree. And most glad that you are out of the abusive relationship.

the walking man said...

Control what you can control, and fight the shit out f the rest until either you or it is laying bloody on the ground to tired to rise. Then you'll know you gave it all you had. Go forth from this point forward and be in control.

Daryl said...

Good advise all .. nothing to add but my friendship, but you knew that