Monday, October 11, 2010

National Coming Out Day

Just think - I was scared to death when I first came out on my blog, because you knew me as a wife and mother. I was so afraid you would stop reading and I would feel judged. Judgment often rains down on the heads of anyone who is deemed different.

Like you, I've been reading about and hearing the news stories of so many young people who have been humiliated, tortured, abused, bullied, and who have either killed themselves or attempted to do so. Parents out there are grieving just like me. They are wracked with guilt and the endless questions of how they could have prevented their child's death. It has felt a lot like an epidemic lately. It's a national shame. It's a human tragedy, and it's a very personal tragedy for these families who have lost their children.

We must speak out against bullying and injustice where we see it. We must try to make our nation and its people better at acceptance, loving kindness, compassion, and fairness. I don't know how to do that. I don't think that the fix lies within a single person's belief or opinion, but we have to do what little we can.

I came out because I couldn't stand the anxiety of living a lie anymore. I couldn't bear to see what it had done to my ex to live in a sexless marriage. No one should have to live like that, and it is a testament to how much he cared about me that he didn't walk out years before. He always knew. I always knew. But I figured it was none of anyone's business.

Well, let me tell you. Every time I manage to tell someone, to level with them about my reality, my truth, I am empowered. I am validated. I am a little bit more me. I wish I could tell each and every kid who is enduring this humiliation and bullying - "It will get better! Please hang in there!" Better yet, I'll let these guys tell you and them. It will get better. It will get easier. Everything will be okay. Just be you!

I had such a great weekend, and I've been promised a drive later this week to a nice spot for a look at some leaves and a beautiful sunset. :-) I'll let you know when I'm ready to share more.

Peace - D


Mike Golch said...

I feel that everyone has the right to live as God Created then Not the Mold of society.I decided long ago to accept my fellow human beings as they are not who I want them to be.

B said...

Great post, D! And, by the way, if I didn't tell you before, I LOVE YOUR HAIR!

the walking man said...

I kid you not, as a homosexual, heterosexual, lesbian, back white asian aboriginal person i am tired of the abuse myself.

Mental P Mama said...

Wonderful post. And I can actually feel your positive energy!

Akelamalu said...

I remember the post you wrote when you came out and like I said then - it makes no difference you're still you. :)

Love your hair by the way, it really suits you. :)

Daryl said...

Go Doris! Brava. And I think anyone who cant deal should STFU

Daryl said...

Go Doris! Brava. And I think anyone who cant deal should STFU

Syd said...

I am glad that you are living your truth Doris. It isn't living to hide your true self from others. Glad that you came out.

Carol said...

Bravo to you! God made all of us. And we're all different. That's the beauty of His world. Being who you are is your gift back to God. JMHO!!