Monday, November 22, 2010
Sleepless in Frederick
More than one person has asked me later, when it comes up in conversation that I take Seroquel for sleep, "How's that workin' for ya?" A la Dr. Phil. I suppose that, yes, I don't often sleep through the night anymore. Maybe it's time to go back to the drawing board and see if my doctor has something else to throw at me.
Insomnia is the family curse.
Dad used to walk the halls of the house all during the night. I used to think he was just suspicious, poking his head into our rooms now and then, but now I think he just couldn't sleep and needed a reason to be up. Maybe he thought he heard something and had to check on everyone. Mom was an insomniac, too. She was more prone to daily naps than to a good night's sleep. My brothers and sisters all take something for sleep - okay, except my older sister who sleeps like the dead. As far as I know, she takes nothing. It's a lousy feeling, to not be able to sleep. I can get to sleep, but then I'm awake a couple of hours later. I can't take Ambien (one of the evil drugs that killed my daughter) or Lunesta or any of the other pills designed for people with mild or temporary insomnia. Oh hell no. It takes the big guns for me.
I have sleep apnea, which shouldn't surprise me, because I get quite a bit of sinus congestion at night - a side effect of the Seroquel. So the Seroquel might be making my insomnia worse, if you think of it from that perspective. Again, I have to see my doctor and see if we can try something different. I'm always afraid of switching up the medication, because one never knows what weird side effect might hit next. I could become the bearded lady who starts working the circus circuit, or I might gain a lot of weight, or I might turn purple.
When you're dealing with any new thing, it makes you more prone - in my humble observation - to have problems sleeping, eating, or doing the cha-cha. I've had my share of new things to deal with. I made the mistake of thinking yesterday that I didn't really need the cath, so when I did it finally, it resulted in pain and some complications. I got back on track, but still. Ow.
Before I went to bed tonight, I thought a lot about how many fears I've had to face down in the last couple of years. Just because I won the skirmishes doesn't mean I didn't come away with battle scars.
Maybe that will be my circus character. The incredible scarred woman.
She's been through 150 battles and has the scars to prove it, but she's still standing! Look away! Look away! We can't be held responsible if you continue to burn this image onto your retinas!
Ooooookay. I think I may be ready to try and sleep again. But to answer my friends' Dr. Phil-like question? I don't think it (my current routine) is working out so well.
Peace - D