Monday, January 24, 2011

Some Days

Today, like almost every day last week, I've been an emotional wreck. It's not about anything in particular, either. It's about everything.

I'm hoping it's just medication changes, but maybe it's also about life changes. Things have been H A R D this month. Hard. From being in the ER on New Year's Eve to January 3rd being 21 months, to Steph's 27th birthday, to - just everything.

Work has been rough, and I'm overscheduled. School has started back up and is even harder so far than last semester. And I've been sick off and on, had a surgery, and had more medication heaped on me here and there. Through it all I have to just keep going; I don't have any choice. Part of me wants to curl up in a ball and cry, but I can't. I'm afraid I'd never get back up.

Some days are much harder than others. Today is a Xanax kind of day, but I can't take one just yet. I have to finish work now. If you don't hear from me as often as you used to, it's because the plate is full and is bending the table in half.



Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Sending you big, huge, love-filled hugs.


Daryl said...

Know that we, I, am here for you .. and stay strong, I know its not easy but you can do it ..

Maggie May said...

Think how you will feel when you achieve your goals! You will get there. Keep trekking and we are all cheering you on.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

SY said...

This is my first time to your blog. Seems like you're going through some things... sending some love your way
:) - Sy

the walking man said...


there is a comfort for you if you but recognize it. words at best can only point you towards it. But in the last couple of years of reading your blog I know, you know where that place is within your being but you seem to have forgotten your way there.

My first suggestion is to go to your primary doctor with all of your meds and discuss what is absolutely necessary and what is not. Reducing the number of them reduces any side affects.

At one time I was on 11 different meds. Bad idea, bad even though I talked with the pharmacist about interactions and such. He only knew me as a customer and could only talk about the chemical interactions and not the affects on me as an individual.

Now I take 1 every day and 2 others as needed.

Beyond that you need to find again that place you used to know where you were able to calm and quiet your fears and pains of the heart.

I promise you friend that you are much stronger than you think and much braver than you know.

Find Peace

B said...

Call anytime.