Saturday, March 19, 2011
There's a full moon tonight. I blame it for the good things and the bad things. It's been used against me before, namely by my ex. She sent me a beautiful picture of the moon, and then she broke up with me.
Today been a tough day. One of the boys has been acting out, and I'm feeling like the most inept stepmother in the world. In reality, though, I can only do what I can do. I haven't known the boys, or Kim, that long to be able to just step in and be perfect, and I'm quite the perfectionist. We realize we need to get some quality part-time care for the boys, but no one so far has worked out. Still trying. There is a college student that I've known for awhile, and she's perfect for the job. She's just too busy to commit to more than once in awhile. She's coming over Thursday so Kim and I can go out on a date. We missed our date last week because Kim developed an infection in part of her incision -- not enough to need a drain, but enough to need strong antibiotics.
Tonight is not a good night. I've not been able to eat. I feel nauseated. And I have medication I have to take, come hell or high water, for my latest infection. April 8th, I'll have the InterStim bladder stimulator device put in for a trial period. I'm hoping I notice a difference right away. If I could do away with the catheters, I might also be able to do away with the infections.
I did get to see my therapist today for a bit, so that was reassuring -- but when I came home, said boy had really given his mom a run for her money, and it was not a calm situation. I tried to remain calm through the evening (after she went to work) but things being what they were, part of me just wanted to crawl in bed and forget it all. I didn't. The boys are safely fed and in bed now, and I'm going to write for awhile. Maybe it will be the salve my soul needs.
To continue our story....
The day after our first date, I was hoping Kim would call. When she did, finally, it was on my home phone.
"What's your cell number?" she asked.
I gave it to her. "Did you lose it?"
"Well, let's just say there's one very confused person who's been getting some racy text messages!"
We shared a good laugh and talked briefly about our date. We'd both had so much fun, and we couldn't wait to get together again.
For the rest of the day, we exchanged flirtatious text messages. A couple of them made me blush! And I'm sure some of mine had the same effect. Essentially what was happening is that we were feeling the same way about each other - quickly enjoying a beautiful start to our relationship. We agreed that the next day she could come by on her way to work.
This started a pattern that went on for a couple of weeks. She would come by either before or after work to see me. It was easier that way. With her kids, dogs, and nanny, and with the unpredictability of her schedule, it was just easier for me to be ready and waiting for her.
When she drove up in the Prius, I would be standing by the door, with my dogs behind the baby gate. I'd swing the door open wide, and we'd both flash big smiles at each other. We couldn't help it! I was always so glad to see her drive up into the parking lot at the townhouse, and she was always so glad to be there.
The first time she came over, we didn't even get the door closed before she kissed me. She closed it behind her with her foot :-)
When she had a few minutes, we would sit on the couch and talk, getting to know one another, talking about her work and mine. We're both very involved in what we do, and we love it. That means that between our work and our kids, we have to really work in time for us. (My son will be moving away soon to Cary, NC, for his first real job as an engineer. We'll have to work in trips to visit him, too.) I find her to be the most fascinating woman I've ever been close to. There is so much about her that intrigues me, and we have great conversations about all sorts of things.
Between the passionate kisses and the passionate conversation, we were soon falling in love. It wasn't long before we were both having to stop ourselves just short of saying it - because we certainly felt it.
More tomorrow. I have to spend a little time thinking about the other woman in my life - Stephanie. Time to do some more writing.
Peace - D