Thursday, December 5, 2013


It's a hard thing to come by. 

Tonight I did some house cleaning on Facebook because someone pointed out that I might be over sharing some things and that it might be interfering with how some people see me. Well, what you see is what you get with me. I lasted about 3 weeks, trying to appear happy, upbeat, and so DOGGONE POSITIVE you'd think I was a Stepford wife. 

But none of us are happy and positive all the time, and I find this is especially true for grieving parents. 

I'm beginning to feel like I'll never figure the social thing out. I'll never figure out why people feel compelled to single me out and either bully me, bad mouth me, or find a way to turn me into the "other."  It doesn't always happen that way - just when I'd really, REALLY like things to work out. Maybe I tried too hard. Or maybe this one "mean girl" is just that. Either way, I'm not supposed to vent too publicly because it pushes people away. 

But then again, maybe they're just assholes and I have every right to express my sadness, anger, or grief over lost things and people wherever I want, whenever I want, as long as I keep it clean and don't give out specifics. 

Facebook has been a great place to reconnect with people from my past, keep up with people in my present, and play a few video games. 

But as of tonight, some people are either off my "friends" list or severely limited to what they can see. There. 

And I'd just as soon get back to my friends here and start writing again. I got offered some freelance work today. I should take it, I think. I could use the money to pay student loans. But it would interfere with free time. 

Tell you the truth, I can't think my way through it tonight. I'm upset, tired, and in a fair deal of pain. 

Catch you later. Once I figure out the Blogger interface for mobile, I'll be following you all again. 

Peace, and goodnight. D


Syd said...

It has been a long time. Glad that you are going to write again. I don't know what drives people to be mean but rest assured that most of the time, it isn't about you. It's their own shit.

RiverPoet said...

Good to see you again, Syd. As soon as I figure out Reader, I'll be following you again. Peace.