Thursday, April 24, 2014
Today was all about hope.
When you lose a child and your life falls completely to shit, it's hard to believe there will ever be anything to hope for again. I began to question whether my son even needed me anymore, since I felt I had failed so miserably with his sister, but I had to have a little hope - somewhere in me - that things would get better. I didn't believe it at the time. In fact I was in shock for a good long time, but that little spark of hope kept me alive.
Today hope reigned.
I went with my wife to my ex-husband's wedding. Our son was the best man and he looked so sharp in his suit. He held the rings for his father while the couple said their vows. When Paul's new bride, Michele, began to tear up, so did I. It was a beautiful ceremony. They didn't go over the top like we did. Instead they chose to splurge on a honeymoon in Italy. I'm sure they will have a lovely time.
Also at the gathering was Sean's new girlfriend, Jess.We adore her. It seemed right that love is blooming in his life, after he walked me down the aisle last September and stood up with his dad, today. This is the natural order of things, and we haven't had the natural order of things in this family for quite some time.
I hope for all of us that we will have love and peace now and in our future. God knows we've had enough sadness. I think for now, I'll hold onto hope.
Cheers to Paul and Michele!
at 8:55 PM